We never have liked you. We never will like you. And we don’t even want to think about you, especially after we’ve moved out of your house. Don’t remind us you’re still among us. Go away.

Got the hint yet?

To make sure you understand that you’re unwelcome, we’re going to sic two of our state senators on you: Kurt “Doberman” Schaefer and Bill “Bulldog” Stouffer. And they’re going to issue press releases to make sure you are scared off. Don’t even think about crossing these guys.

They threw down the gauntlet Friday afternoon, letting us know that they will aggressively protect us against the scourge of Missouri license plates with KU on them.

Yep, we’ll let you put almost any darned thing on your license plates these days, but those two letters have no place on a Missouri license plate. If you graduated from the University of Kansas, it’s best that you stay as anonymous as possible. You are unclean. Do not advertise that status on our sacred plates.

Bulldog’s press release says in the second paragraph, “With the long-standing rivalry between Mizzou and KU, I find it appalling that the creation of this license plate would be conceived in the Show Me State. I have no doubt my colleagues in the Missouri General Assembly will stand behind me and block this.”

His comment is in the fourth paragraph of Doberman’s press release. The first paragraph in Doberman’s release says, “Years ago, the Legislature worked to change the design of Missouri license plates. Since then, citizens have been involved in new license plate designs. Even though this is an important part of the process, I want to make sure our license plates reflect our state and highlight the things that make us Missouri.” Bulldog’s comments are in the fourth paragraph of Doberman’s release.

How in the world can a graduate of Kansas University dare stand up to a 1-2 punch like that?

These two stalwart defenders of the purity of our sacred plates note that the KU Alumni Association has been trying to get a KU license plate in Missouri for some time. Stouffer promises that as chairman of the Senate Transportation Committee and as co-chair of the Joint Committee on Transportation Oversight that he will take “swift action” to block any approval of a KU license plate.

Schaefer is the chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee. He makes no threats in his news release but the Department of Revenue would do well to remember his committee has its hands on state agency purse strings—including the department’s purse strings. Kansas money is not welcome here, at least not for buying license plates.

And these Jayhawkers better understand that a riled Missourian is a dangerous Missourian. Missourians might demand reciprocity. But with the hostility the University of Kansas has shown toward continuing the football rivalry with Mizzou, we’re sure our neighbor to the west won’t want an MU license plate from Kansas.

We repelled invaders from Kansas in the 1850s. We torched Lawrence.

Think about it Jayhawkers. Don’t push your luck. Doberman and Bulldog know where we keep our matches.