What’s the big deal?

The media is all atwitter about airport security and travelers getting full body scans and getting patted.

People who don’t want the scan are guaranteed of the pat.

Here’s some advice from someone who has been through a scanner.

Let them scan you.

I promise you the people who will look at your image are not looking for a date.

And you don’t have anything that hasn’t been seen in magazines and movies.

Anybody who’s had a colonoscopy knows there are some things in life that are undignified and a scan at an airline gate is nowhere nearly as undignified as a colonoscopy.

If you haven’t had one, get one. It’s good for you and once you go through the process you’ll realize that having somebody look at your image for a few seconds on a computer screen is no big deal compared to somebody surveying your innards through a little tube.

As for the pat-down.

Don’t blame the patter. Blame the creeps who put bombs in their undies.

I’m not completely sure about this, but I’d be willing to bet that TSA patters do not go to the closest bar when they get off work and tell each other “You wouldn’t believe what I felt today.” Besides, most of us feel pretty much alike. Some of us are more pillowy and others are more solid but none of us is likely to be memorable.

As for complaints about invasion of privacy, there are two points.

  1. Would you rather have somebody look at a scan or pat you down or have your spouse or other loved one have a funeral service for your thumb because that’s all of you anybody can find after your plane blows up?
  2. Let the terrorists win this one. One of the goals of terrorists is to alter behavior. In the case of airport security, they’ve won on that count. Getting a pat-down, however, does not take away your right to vote, your right to worship, your right to assemble, your right to petition your government, your right to publish your own newspaper, your right to speak your mind about patting or anything else. The terrorists will never win on those points.

So go ahead and get scanned and get patted. Compared to so many other things, it’s no big deal. Save your outrage for something more important.

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